I'm fighting to stand,
While still my will
I throw at the shelf
I aim out my heart
And tame myself
Not to thwart.
Why do I swallow it?
Can't I scream it out?
Can't I write about?
You don't know the gloom
Of laying alone,
My last candle blown
At my dark room.
The fire fought,
As the image of someone dear
Messed my stomach
Wasn't yet an ache
As now
That's opaque.
Why did it stop hurting?
Seems like nothing's longer real
While I can't feel.
There's someone inside me who wants to hurt me.
Gotta get on tracks,
Gotta mend my cracks,
Gotta stitch me whole,
Gotta get all mend
Not to let them out
While I fight to stand.
Why are you so sad?
Why don't you shoot yourself?
Paint the walls red.
My candle burns eager
Of my abstinence
Like fever
Melting me to bone
Mistreating my stone
Desolating me
Till I'm numb.
Why do I feel so much?
They haven't stopped knocking
At my brain's door,
Haven't stopped talking
To my fragile soul
That forgot by a second
I need a hand
I have to stand.
